I am a women who loves to plan events. I feel like that would be my only way into Stepford. I feel like a lady when I do and I am inspired by pink, gold, and macaroon decorations. Thirty is something I have been planning for a while. Well, that and my wedding.
As a women who loves themed parties, my first idea was to go with a totally trashy dirty thirty with Jello shots, nips, and mason jars full of alcoholic concoctions. It was going to be a fabulous dirty thirty but this idea went stale and was thrown to the 21st birthday ducks. I decided on dinner and dancing. What is more fun than dinner and dancing. Not just a night at the club though, I had to do it classy. Like old school, Fred Astaire, type dancing. I wrote an email to the local Fred Astaire dance studio and set up a fabulous plan to take my, even closer friends and family ballroom dancing. (I say even closer because by the time you’re thirty the “kind of” friends fade away and the closest ones seem to stick around like glue.) I received the reply a few weeks later:
Yes, you can certainly can bring a group of 20 people for a group lesson. The group lesson is 45 minutes long, and the cost is already taken care of, Happy Birthday!
I was so excited, I couldn’t sleep the night I had received it.
For dinner, I wasn’t sure what I wanted. Did I want to bar hop downtown mystic? Was I too old for this crowd? Naahhh, never to old to bar hop. My family is a seafood family. I was brought up with screaming lobsters and fish and chips, made by my dad, that even the travel channel couldn’t resist. I decided on a classy fish joint
It was set and it was everything I wanted. I bought a few pink and gold decorations and some fresh baked butter cookies from Carlo’s Bakery. Anxiety was low, tummy was calm. My birthday at this point was flawless.
I then receive an email do be part of a local film’s “East Side Zombies” makeup crew! The same week as my birthday! Praying it wasn’t the same day, I call the Co director of the film and find out it is in fact the same day. Anxiety starts, digestion stops and my mind swirls with excitement. Fortunately, it was at 11 a.m. and my birthday at 4:15. “It will work,” I tell myself.
Everyday is not perfect and even when I do plan things flawlessly, something can always come up. Something will always come up. You may say, “Saschia, it couldn’t have gone completely perfect. What went wrong?”
You are right. For starters, I had to allow someone else have control of my cake. Event planners would understand this. I had to trust a new bakery and my husband to pick it up. Both reliable but both out of my control. Very Scary.
I wasn’t ready when the first guest arrived.
I had no partner when we started dancing.
Last but not least, my husband responsibly wouldn’t drink with me.
These were all stress-fully, fit worthy moments. My husband came with a beautiful cake! The first guest that arrived is probably one of the nicest couples I know. It was nice to sit and chat with them. It always is. Since my husband had to deal with our daughter and the cake, he arrived late, but I got to dance with the teacher! Nerve wrecking but fun! I’m always up for a new experience! My husband wouldn’t drink with me but my closest friends did and thankfully we forget most of the night together. It meant a lot to me that my friends and family showed up. They came out and had fun learning to dance. They made my night. Nothing else really matters.
What to expect when you’re thirty
Well, nothing really. I have learned not to expect things out of my control. At thirty, I realize who my true friends are. I realize family survives much longer than friends do. I realize you cannot say, “no” to new experiences, even when they are kind of scary. At this point, death has made me realize time is precious. It’s more valuable than perfection. I realize taking my own precious time to listen to others, really gave me a new aspect on life.
Thirty is worth surviving to. I live differently. I love differently. It’s worth it now, because I no longer survive for myself. I survive for my husband and daughter, those few friends that stick around, and all the family members that always show up. I have found this amazing balance of loving me selflessly. It’s great being…