The walls aren’t talking to me anymore. The paper has been torn away and I have nothing left to peel. Besides grapefruits. I always loved my grapefruits peeled like oranges. I used to watch my grandmother eat hers with sugar and one of those serrated spoons. She would come in the living room and plunk herself right down on her cushioned wicker couch. It was painted white and she had to have the whole collection. She had the remote on the wicker coffee table that was covered with a sheet of glass. Oh man, how she loved her soaps. They bored me and I always felt uncomfortable watching the actors kiss with my grandmother in the same room. When she found them she’d lean in place the remote down and pick up her grapefruit. Sticking the spoon right in and it always went through the flesh so smoothly. That space between the peel and the fruity stuff. I would watch as a perfectly triangular chunk of fruit slipped out into the middle of her spoon. She always wore the perfect shade of Clinique lipstick and it wouldn’t even smudge from the spoon. She had this way of putting the spoon in her mouth that would keep her lipstick in tact even after every bite was gone. I wanted to master that. So 12 year old me, snuck into her room looked through her magical vanity and found a lipstick. I climbed on her counter and leaned in as close to the mirror as I could. Smearing it all over my lips. I was never good at staying in the lines. Some always ended up on my nose and my chin. To this day I can’t figure it out. After not getting my lips to look like my grandmothers I grabbed a hand full of toilet paper and wiped it off. There was little pieces of toilet paper everywhere! In my mouth, on my pants. In a frazzle I fell off the counter trying to climb down. She heard the thud and immediately yells “SASCH?!” I didn’t want her to know I had snuck into her cabinet, so I stayed quiet trying to erase what I had done. I walked out with a smile of rebellion on my face. She looks, “you ok?!” She was always a worrier. “Yea.” I say with a giggle and head into the kitchen to grab a grapefruit. That didn’t work out for me either. But I love lipstick now a days especially the lip stains. And I just peel my grapefruits, it tastes better that way.

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