Becoming Jayne

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Receiving messages in my inbox has given me the idea to explain why I have changed my name to Becoming Jayne. It is not that I am in the process of becoming my middle name. It may seem like that at face value but there is more to it.

Growing into a successful adult required someone telling me how to think, dress, act, smell, learn, etc. I was so close to having the American Dream. My career was at the tips of my fingers. My home life was the American Dream and I was in a private college and on my way to getting my B.S. at a well known University.

After six months of shedding the ideas and expectations of the world, I became me. Saschia Jayne Johnson. Unapologetically me. During that shedding process, I titled myself as “Unbecoming Jayne.”I bared my imperfections to the world. I learned it was ok to be confused, to not agree with others, to fall in love with poetry and write it even if others thought I wasn’t good enough. I picked Jayne because it was my middle name. It was the Center of my title. The in between nobody likes. I also picked Jayne because the name Jayne has been known to be plain and my mom thought I was something special so she added a Y. I am not superior to any other human but I am unique, that’s my power.

Now, that I am in this place with myself, I have already become Jayne. I am Jayne. I am not becoming Jayne. But I added the becoming because this is a new place for me. I am learning to be Jayne. Though I have unbecome what everybody else thinks I should be, I’m still learning to thrive here. It’s not an easy place to stay.

8 Comments Add yours

  1. Shell Vera says:

    Girl…. I loved this!! I wish I’d gotten to know you better all those years ago. I think we’d have become good, awakened friends! Lol When I started the blog I used to write it was called “Eyes Straight Ahead: The Journey Home”. It was similar to what you considered your Unbecoming. I had to really evaluate who I was, who I wanted to be, who I was created to be. I had to pack truth and unpack it, learn and unlearn, grow and fail. It was a beautiful journey. Last year, after nearly 10 years, I sunset it and decided to focus on the new one, which is where I am now. Just being this woman and growing as I am. I’m home. I’m me. And i don’t apologize to anyone for my personality or my love of life and God, or my breaking the rules of what a Christian looks like or speak like. I can’t. It’s how I was created and who I am. And for the first time in my life, I am free from all care of thoughts from others. The only regret is taking so long to learn it – but then I wouldn’t be who I am, so I’m thankful.

    You do such an amazing job being true. I read your writing and sometimes think of David and how he shared his true expressions and feelings. He didn’t hold back. I often wonder what’s in all the psalms we never get to read because they didn’t make the cut. I’m sure they contained curse words and angry thoughts… but that would mess with folks’ theology. Thanks for being true to you. And I agree with your mom. There’s something special about Jayne.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Jayne says:

      I love what you said about David I have always thought the same thing. And thank you so much for sharing parts of your journey and reading parts of mine. I appreciate our writing relationship. And what an interesting aspect of freedom that you’ve found. I really am inspired by that.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. ronsamul says:

    Great statement of truth and strength. Love it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Chiazzz says:

      Thanks!

      Like

  3. Tammy Dan Meuer says:

    You’ve gone where Most people are Afraid to go… And You are Rocking It!!!!❤ You are An Inspiration!!!❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Chiazzz says:

      Thank you soo much!! 🙂 and I’m super grateful to see your comment!

      Like

  4. Anonymous says:

    You’ve gone where Most people are Afraid to go… And You are Rocking It!!!!❤ You are An Inspiration!!!❤

    Liked by 1 person

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